Marriage and dancing

Well, one of my favorite books is Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey if only for the wit of her hero, one Henry Tilney by name. This is taken from said book, Chapter 10.


[The obnoxious John Thorpe has been obtruding himself on Catherine Morland as she is starting to dance with the much more enticing Henry Tilney:]...This was the last sentence by which he [Thorpe] could weary Catherine's attention, for he was just then borne off by the resistless pressure of a long string of passing ladies.
Her partner [Henry Tilney] now drew near, and said,
"That gentleman would have put me out of patience, had he stayed with you half a minute longer. He has no business to withdraw the attention of my partner from me. We have entered into a contract of mutual agreeableness for the space of an evening, and all our agreeableness belongs solely to each other for that time. Nobody can fasten themselves on the notice of one, without injuring the rights of the other. I consider a country-dance as an emblem of marriage. Fidelity and complaisance are the principal duties of both; and those men who do not choose to dance or marry themselves, have no business with the partners or wives of their neighbours."
[Catherine Morland:]
"But they are such very different things! --"
[Henry Tilney:]
"-- That you think they cannot be compared together."
[Catherine Morland:]
"To be sure not. People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together. People that dance only stand opposite each other in a long room for half an hour."
[Henry Tilney:]
"And such is your definition of matrimony and dancing. Taken in that light certainly, their resemblance is not striking; but I think I could place them in such a view. -- You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal; that in both, it is an engagement between man and woman, formed for the advantage of each; and that when once entered into, they belong exclusively to each other till the moment of its dissolution; that it is their duty, each to endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere, and their best interest to keep their own imaginations from wandering towards the perfections of their neighbours, or fancying that they should have been better off with anyone else. You will allow all this?"
[Catherine Morland:]
"Yes, to be sure, as you state it, all this sounds very well; but still they are so very different. -- I cannot look upon them at all in the same light, nor think the same duties belong to them."
[Henry Tilney:]
"In one respect, there certainly is a difference. In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man; he is to purvey, and she is to smile. But in dancing, their duties are exactly changed; the agreeableness, the compliance are expected from him, while she furnishes the fan and the lavender water. That, I suppose, was the difference of duties which struck you, as rendering the conditions incapable of comparison."
[Catherine Morland:]
"No, indeed, I never thought of that."
[Henry Tilney:]
"Then I am quite at a loss. One thing, however, I must observe. This disposition on your side is rather alarming. You totally disallow any similarity in the obligations; and may I not thence infer that your notions of the duties of the dancing state are not so strict as your partner might wish? Have I not reason to fear that if the gentleman who spoke to you just now were to return, or if any other gentleman were to address you, there would be nothing to restrain you from conversing with him as long as you chose?"
[Catherine Morland:]
"Mr. Thorpe is such a very particular friend of my brother's, that if he talks to me, I must talk to him again; but there are hardly three young men in the room besides him that I have any acquaintance with."
[Henry Tilney:]
"And is that to be my only security? alas, alas!"
[Catherine Morland:]
"Nay, I am sure you cannot have a better; for if I do not know any body, it is impossible for me to talk to them; and, besides, I do not want to talk to any body."
[Henry Tilney:]
"Now you have given me a security worth having; and I shall proceed with courage."

Racism in Disguise

I just finished reading The Last of the Mohicans. The author's treatment of Indians is terribly confusing. Uncas and Chingachgook (pronounce 'Chicago' I think, to quote Mark Twain) behave in ways that ought to be totally unacceptable, killing and scalping people unecessarily, etc. but Hawkeye (and seemingly the author) seems to think that they worship the same God as 'the white man' does and that they must be going to heaven...but it must be a different heaven because they don't like 'the white man's' ideas about heaven or something. Apparently the same standards cannot be held for white men and red men.

Apparently, salvation is not by Christ alone, 'red men' can come to God another way. Or is it that they, unlike us cannot understand the way? It is implied from time to time that it is beyond their understanding...and that they cannot live any way but the way they had been living. They cannot abandon their sinful ways (true of everyone outside of Grace) . Are Indians incapable of receiving Grace? They can't come to God? They can't stop acting like animals...but white men can? Lower standards must be had for them because they can't do as much as white men? Have they no souls? (Hmm. Maybe Cooper's red men are totally depraved and his white men resemble more of the Arminian idea of man! That makes for weird theology.)

James Fenimore Cooper didn't know it, but he didn't think much of the Indians. Then again, most people don't like logical conclusions and only go halfway with their beliefs so maybe I'm being unfair. Seems to me that his Indians are pathetic creatures. I'll let you in on a little secret: James Fenimore Cooper had a very small understanding on human nature and I don't think much of his writing. Yeah, I read too deeply into it. The Last of the Mohicans was fun but it isn't great literature.

We want YOUR opinion!

If you happen to be reading this and even mildly enjoy contra dance, etc., pop on over to the Galloping Schlock and give us your opinion...if you can even be made to care, dear reader. I thank you.

Racism in Disguise

I just finished reading The Last of the Mohicans. The author's treatment of Indians is terribly confusing. Uncas and Chingachgook (pronounce 'Chicago' I think, to quote Mark Twain) behave in ways that ought to be totally unacceptable, killing and scalping people unecessarily, etc. but Hawkeye (and seemingly the author) persists in talking about how they worship the same God as 'the white man' does and how they must be going to heaven...but it must be a different heaven because they don't like 'the white man's' ideas about heaven or something.

Apparently the same standards cannot be held for white men and red men. Apparently, salvation is not by Christ alone, 'red men' can come to God another way. Or is it that they, unlike us cannot understand the way? It is implied from time to time that it is beyond their understanding...and that they cannot but live the way they had been living. They cannot abandon their sinful ways (true of everyone outside of Grace) . Are Indians incapable of receiving Grace? They can't come to God? They can't stop acting like animals...but white men can? Lower standards must be had for them because they can't do as much as white men? Have they no souls?

James Fenimore Cooper didn't know it, but he didn't think much of the Indians. Then again, most people don't like logical conclusions and only go halfway with their beliefs so maybe I'm being unfair. Seems to me that his Indians are pathetic creatures. I'll let you in on a little secret: James Fenimore Cooper had a very small understanding on human nature and I don't think much of his writing. Yeah, I read too deeply into it. The Last of the Mohicans was fun but it isn't great literature.

The Wisdom of the Ancients

There's an old Irish saying that says just about anything you want it to.

Dancing can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

For me it's a break. Balls and dances themselves aren't relaxing, I know that I get very tense and nervous before a dance, but dancing itself can get rid of a lot of strain.

I've grown up very reformed and very...shall we say English? Hands off, you know. Even among family, touching people is awkward. We hug...sometimes, but let's just say it's a not too common occurrance. If we aren't going to see you very often, we may hug you; it's not so awkward after all to hug someone once or twice a year. Mostly, though, it's handshakes for me. Most people who meet me will come into actual contact with me once, in a handshake. Actually I've even recently started avoiding handshakes by pretending to be doing something with my hands every time I'm introduced.

Dancing is healthy physical contact. It's not affectionate, but you acknowledge that the other person is a physical being. We aren't gnostics, okay? Every once in a while, no-touchy people need a break from backing off. This sounds very weird, and everyone is going to be trying to stay away from me, but really, what is better than a good Posties where you're being flung around this way and that by several people? Uh-huh. And what is cooler than the Dogbranch when you can send your partner flying every time you stop spinning? (It wasn't very gentlemanly of me!)

I may get lynched, or drawn and quartered, or tarred and feathered for this. It may just be too frank, but it's part of the joy of dancing. Dancing has a LOT of other meaning to me. Jane Austen spoke of the "felicities of rapid motion," I can get very philosophical about the meaning of dance and it's usefulness to show what it really means to be Trinitarian, BUT dance is also useful to speak of being incarnational. (Hey, I bet Jesus danced!) People are physical.

Sometimes we're too Victorian or something to even really admit physical being, but the real cure for that is grabbing a partner and leaping into one of them crazy Virginia Reels as called by the Mad Knights. (speaking of which, what were those about? The calls seemed just a bit random and possibly as if they were trying to confuse people ON PURPOSE!)

Was that too radical? Are you heading off to find your hot tar and you feathers? Actually, tarring and feathering sounds rather incarnational...so maybe I'll just be a gnostic today!

On a less radical point, it's nice to be able to throw your energy into something that is supposedly 'pointless.' When someone asks "What is the point?" The answer may be, "The point is that there isn't one." Having fun will always look stupid until you've tried it. It's one of things you can't actually understand; you have fun, but you don't know why. I'm not mature enough in this yet. I still can't understand why people play sports. Football and baseball and basketball (but not soccer, don't as me why) seem so completely stupid to me that I don't know why anyone plays them. And yet they do. Some people I suppose play them with exercise in mind, but really most people play them for the joy of exerting yourself to do nothing...and have fun doing just that. (Or so I suppose, maybe there's a better reason.) Dancing is a sport; it's a complex sport, but it is one. (It's a sport in a sense; It's sure not as silly looking!...well.....)

God bless y'all. And don't y'all shoot the messenger neither!

Oh, and...am I wrong? I just started thinking and I couldn't stop. Have I expressed it wrong? Have I scared anyone off the dance floor for life?

Solemn Joy--I guess

This world is filled with cynics. I think I may have been one of them when I was about eleven. Hence, even today, my glasses aren't rose-colored. All the same I have difficulty being serious.
When others are being serious, I start joking. I can't help myself; I speak quickly what comes to mind, and then, of course, insist that it was well and truly nothing (my beliefs on what constitutes nothing may be told another time). And what do I say? I couldn't tell you. All I can say is : Oh, nothing really.

But what am I doing? I'm organizing my thoughts. Laughter holds my life together. Laughter is the deeply serious mission of my life. While others talk about grand visions what am I doing? Punning and finishing their sentences for them! I don't stand for straight faces.

Now, I couldn't tell you why I do this. I just do. It's quite the same as "Why is the grass green?" It just is. Red might as well have been the best color for chlorophyll and whatnot, but who wants red grass? I have been known to smile at the thought that grass is green and sunburns are red (speaking of which, I had quite the bright red face Sunday evening, but red is such a cheerful color). And what is the meaning of wood?

Solid Joys

My favorite hymn is Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken, at least I think so. I want it sung at my funeral, along with For All the Saints. I have always loved the last lines of the last verse: Fading is the worlding's pleasure/All his boasted pomp and show/Solid joys and lasting treasure/None but Zion's children know. I like that idea, the idea of our joys being solid.

Dictionary.com defines solid as:

"adjective
1. having three dimensions (length, breadth, and thickness), as a geometrical body or figure.
2. of or pertaining to bodies or figures of three dimensions.
3. having the interior completely filled up, free from cavities, or not hollow: a solid piece of chocolate.
4. without openings or breaks: a solid wall.
5. firm, hard, or compact in substance: solid ground.
6. having relative firmness, coherence of particles, or persistence of form, as matter that is not liquid or gaseous: solid particles suspended in a liquid.
7. pertaining to such matter: Water in a solid state is ice.
8. dense, thick, or heavy in nature or appearance: solid masses of cloud.
9. not flimsy, slight, or light, as buildings, furniture, fabrics, or food; substantial.
10. of a substantial character; not superficial, trifling, or frivolous: a solid work of scientific scholarship.
11. without separation or division; continuous: a solid row of buildings.
12. whole or entire: one solid hour.
13. forming the whole; consisting entirely of one substance or material: solid gold.
14. uniform in tone or shades, as a color: a solid blue dress.
15. real or genuine: solid comfort.
16. sound or reliable, as reasons or arguments: solid facts.
17. sober-minded; fully reliable or sensible: a solid citizen. "

Almost all of those definitions relate to what the word solid means in that song. I really love that idea.

Sounds like a great dance!

Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.
--Dogbert calling a square dance

For Gabriel, Alethea, and Noah

I visited one of my brothers' blogs and saw a post he made the day we held a memorial service for our little siblings that we have never met. It still makes me cry when I think about it. I'm just glad to know that they are covenant children and are with their Savior. I want to join them soon, but I guess God has a reason for keeping me here, even though I want to be there.

Providence can be hard, and I know we wouldn't have Dora if they had lived, but...I wish I could have seen them...any of them, held them...known them. I'm not sad because they didn't get a chance to live, no. They are with Jesus, what could be better? I just wish I could be with them or...anything.

Martin Luther liked to call Erasmus and pals "sleepy-headed."

Take THAT, papists!

School again

I always am glad to think I'm starting school again! Every summer I long for school. Every year I swear to be more studious (this rarely works out, but it's a good goal). Once again, I'm getting ready for school. Yay! The bad bit is...my parents aren't *quite* sure about curriculum yet. Never mind I may have to take history with Han again. I hate taking classes with my siblings. The only people that should have to worry about this are twins. Freshmen should not have to take classes with their sisters who are Juniors. Argh. Of course, this is God's providence. I shouldn't fight. But only homeschooling...*fist clench*

Don't get me wrong, I like homeschooling. But my favorite bit is the indepence of it. When I am behaving in a self-disciplined manner (about a fourth of the time) I don't want adults and older siblings ruining my precarious balance by adding a load of unnecessary suggestions, work, and rules (by this I mean the sort of extra ideas that learning must be done "exactly so" or "just this way" and other things that hurt my poor, stupid little head). I have grown up teaching myself, changing is so hard (this being one of the reasons I'm not sure I'll want to go to college. Bleh. The only reason I can see for going to college is getting a husband. Smart, I'm sure, but, really.

Well, I might have talked my parents into letting me take classes at the gummint school, but I don't like gummint schools. Public schools are full of clueless person who think I'm peculiar (I am of God's peculiar people...but they don't get it). I don't mind being thought weird, last year I relished it. However, once in a while I want people to understand what informs my frame of mind. I'm not stuck on boys or money or having fun (well, once in a while I get distracted...but I'm working on this). My life isn't these fading pleasures, I want solid joys. Sure, I love this world, God made it. But nobody gets it. I look at everything through the eyes my dad made for me by constantly reading Scripture, and talking about theology until my head was full of it. Anyway, public schools are filled with bad influences, distractions, and just...dumb people.

But I can't wait to throw myself back at Algebra and give it one more shot (I started it half-way through last year and am about half-way through). I'm hopeful.

The Will of God

Ok. First, I pray that this post, these words would somehow bring glory to God. All that is good in them is surely Him working in me, and not my own ability, all evil surely comes from my depravity and folly, and also with less blame, my finiteness as I do not know all that is, some things are hidden from us.

The points of the so called "free will" discussion appear to be as follows:

• The total depravity of man. Is it or isn't it?
• God's fore-knowledge? Is it in conflict with His justice? His power?
• Reward and Punishment
• Fatalism; Does the bondage of the will eliminate responsibility for sin?

The Total Depravity of man

"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others." (Ephesians 2:1-3)

Ecclesiastes 7:20 " For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin."

Romans 5:12-14 "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come."

St. Augustine (of Hippo, heh-heh) said :"Man's original capacities included both the power not to sin and the power to sin ( posse non peccare et posse peccare ). In Adam's original sin, man lost the posse non peccare (the power not to sin) and retained the posse peccare (the power to sin)--which he continues to exercise. In the fulfillment of grace, man will have the posse peccare taken away and receive the highest of all, the power not to be able to sin, non posse peccare ." (On Correction and Grace XXXIII.) I've never read this in original context, I found this on a website. I realize of course, that St. Augustine is not on par with Scripture, but the Romans ought to recognize him as fairly authoritative.

If it were possible for man without Christ not to sin, I'm surprised at the very small evidence of genuinely good non-Christians. Yes, I know genuinely kind pagans, genuinely loving pagans, genuinely loving pagans, but I really know no genuinely good pagans.

Supposing man was really, deep down inside, good, then I think the world would be prevalently good with a few mistakes and goofs here and there. But the utter confusion of the world without God is so complete, that while in every culture a particular virtue is thought important, there are generally several prevalent vices, that completly "cancel out" any virtue. Man is not just confused, he is dead in sin.

God's Foreknowledge

Does God know the future?

I will not cite passages at this moment, but cast your mind around, and think back to the many prophecies in Scripture that have been fulfilled so exactly as to leave no doubt that God perfectly knows the future.

Some will argue, I suppose, that He knows the future because since He is not bound by space and time He is present in it. Suppose that is the case (and so it would seem to be), then it might not be necessary that He controls every detail.

But this leaves God in an awkward state, past, present, or future, it would seem as though He must view it rather as we do, but with the disadvantage that His acting would interfere with the free-will of humans, His "hands-off" area.

If God does not foresee the future, then His knowledge is incomplete and imperfect. If His knowledge is incomplete, is not, then, His power limited? His power limited, we cannot confess "God the Father Almighty" as we have for hundreds (almost thousands) of years.

Reward and Punishment

Understand first of all, that we are condemned by nature. Nothing we can do will save us, for our nature is evil. God does not take neutral man and make half of them "good" and half "bad". He takes some sinners and redeems them, and some He destroys.

A)Punishment

"What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden."(Romans 9:14-18)

He hardens some. He fixes them in their sin, which directly or indirectly He willed through Adam's sin. Adam would not have sinned had God wished Him not to, for God knows all things and if Adam's sin would not bring glory to Him, He would not have created Adam. How could He?

One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he called.

B) Reward

Christians are promised a "reward." This is Scriptural language, so let me not be said to quarrel with it, but what is the reward for? I have been told by some that this is a reward for following God, but would you reward a corpse for keeping up with the hearse it was riding in?

Surely, we have been made alive in Christ, but this must mean we no longer live in ourselves, we live in Christ. The life we have can hardly be our own, and we will not be rewarded for following. We will be rewarded for the righteousness of Christ: His works on earth, His death and resurrection, and His good works through us. As the sin of our first head, Adam, is imputed to us, despite the fact that we did not actually participate, so the righteousness of our new head, Christ Jesus, is imputed to us, through no act of our own. We did not will our sin and so do not will our salvation.

Fatalism

I was asked this question recently:

"What if God came and told you that He had predestined you to go to Hell and there was absolutely nothing you could do to redeem yourself? How would you feel, what would you do?"

The obvious flaw in this is: has God ever done that? Is there any reason that He would? Why ever would He say that?

But ignoring that, this shows a very flawed understanding of the doctrine of predestination.

Predestination is not fate. Fate is impersonal, God's will is supremely personal. Everything we do is directly tied in to the end. It is not as though nothing we do matters, every detail is part of the extreme detail of God's plan. It seems that some think we believe that only the "big stuff" matters. When, in Romans 8, Paul speaks of all things working together, he means all things and does not exclude any details of anything. It is not a matter of "all the big stuff" but rather all the everyday stuff as well.

If God has predestined us to go to Hell, then He has also predestined us to sin. Predestined or not, sin is still, at least in some sense, a choice. We do not respond to some preprogrammed course of action, but rather to things we see, hear, feel, etc. at the moment.

Predestination is not a get out of jail free card. God will not tell you that you are predestined to go one place or do one thing. What purpose would that serve?

We don't for what we are predestined, although we can see where someone may be heading. If they bear bad fruit, then their faith is probably dead. If we see ourselves bearing bad fruit, we should be on our knees repenting. Through God's power and only God's power are we brought back, our own sinful hearts will not admit our sin, and certainly not repent of them. I have no problem asserting that a man without Christ cannot possibly choose Christ. The Holy Spirite (and through Him, Christ) must enter into the man before he can so much as see the extent of his sin.

• Fatalism says that no matter what you do, the end will be the same, the one that is fated to be.
• The doctrine of Predestination says that because of what you do, the end is what God willed.

See the difference?

Closing Statements--

There is a complete failure in the so called "free will" arguments to account for sin or salvation. By the arguments I have heard, man is basically good, so most sin cannot be explained, or man is basically evil so how can he do good if he is free to choose?

I have heard few arguments of any sort on behalf of free will. I have heard almost entirely questions skirting around the matter to speak about something not being discussed.

This is by no means perfect, there are so many Scripture passages I forget to quote that I meant to, I haven't quoted from Luther like I meant to and not as much from Augustine as maybe might be useful, but I hope this is clearer than previous posts on my other blog or on the ISLAS forum.

Disclaimer: I make mistakes, I say things I don't mean. I may not have read this through enough times. I'm not brilliant.

For random people reading this: This is a response to Roman Catholics and not Arminian-non-calvinist-type Baptists. I'm not sure if in this case it makes much of a difference, but it might. God bless!

God's plan

When everything seems to be going just right I start to wonder, if maybe everything's going to come so close to happening and then everything will go wrong. What does He mean by this? Whatever happens is for my best, including the good things. Still I wonder, things look too good to be true. What is happening?

God's blessings are great...

• He has begun to show me the qualities of some younger ladies at our church, and how valuable they are as friends
• He has given me a few friendships that allow me to grow in Christ, by discussing Our King, glorying in Him, and advising one another when we are confused
• He has provided beautiful weather lately, that if it continues will be lovely for Han's ball (If it doesn't, praise the Lord! His will is our highest good)
• He has given us wonderful friends who are willing to travel far to visit us. I'm especially glad about the Johnstons. I love those people.
• He has provided us with music and other such necessary things for this ball
• He has given me many friends with an active love for the Word
• He has given me the breath I breathe
• He has given me things I cannot understand or speak of, suffice it to say that His grace is daily revealed to me in more wonderful ways than ever could be described.
• He fills me with the desire to belong to Him, and saves me from my folly and stubborness.

Posting!

Okay, normally I meditate on Scripture so here goes. I have some instructions for y'all:

Read Psalm 19, then read the book of Ephesians. No, I haven't seen any real similarities (besides the obvious), but Psalm 19 is a good read...and helps me appreciate Scripture better.

Okay, with that step done, thank God for bringing you to Him despite the fact that you were dead in trespasses and sins.

The Living and Active Word

"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God."

I said something about the passage in the Bible regarding headcoverings for women and making a joke (pretending to take a very strange position on the passage; and by strange position I do not simply mean "pro-head-covering" I do indeed mean something strange, though I do not now recall what it was I do believe it was related to a paper-hat) and then said that seriously I had a head covering; it was made out of hair. I got a strange look from another girl my age and was told, "Well, that was in the Old Testament." I expressed my surprise that that should make a difference, but insisted that the passage I had referenced was (1 Corinthians 11 was what I had been thinking of), in fact, in the New Testament. Her response was two-fold, "That was a long time ago. Besides, guys back then had long hair." What an intellectual discussion. Back to the point--

Does the meaning of Scripture becomes irrelevant if its meaning is not easily understood by our minds; minds that have not be trained to think in biblical terms?

The word of God is living and powerful. The Word of God is not mere words, but a living and powerful person. The word of God is also Holy Scripture. Scripture is God's statement about Himself. Knowledge of God is ever relevant, ever important. It is not worthwhile to the mind that has not been trained in it and has not been turned towards it, because God is not relevant to such a mind. But if we study Scripture, we see how relevant God is, and if God is relevant, then His word is relevant. He who has ears to hear let him hear.

Psalm 19
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat. "

Creation pours forth silent speech which is heard from East to West.

" The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults."

I think this and the Hebrews passage go hand in hand (as if Scripture passage could not go hand in hand?). The Law of God is perfect and living and powerful for conviction, for comfort, for assurance, for edification etc. "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17) I meant in some way to discuss the word of God and the Word incarnate, but the glory and power of it is so inexpressible.

I end this post with this prayer:


"Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

In much need of prayer

Please pray for me. Pray that my longings and desires would be in accord with God's will for my life. Pray that I would love what God has planned for me. Pray that God will give me patience; that I could trust Him now and not rush on ahead. One can love too much what one cannot have; it is so dangerous! God save us all!

I have been praying the Lord's Prayer every night before I go to sleep. This ensures that I can say something even if I am too tired to say much. Often I kinda choke up on "thy will be done." It's hard on me. I'm sure it's hard on everyone. Our pride does not allow us to think of God's will, and we will want what we cannot have and pride will lead us to covetousness, etc.

Pride is my mortal enemy. But I wasn't really posting about pride. We'll leave pride for another time. My problem now is loneliness and this feeling of loss which ought to be inexplicable considering I have lost nothing of value. But yet I feel that I have lost what I have never had and mean to gain what is not meant for me. I will not explain further. The longing may be excusable, the attitude and habits that go with it are not.

May might heart long after God's will and God's word. May my soul long only for Him. May I not look to the left or right. What can satisfy me but my creator?

Prayer would be so wonderful.

Evil Laughter #2

Pastor Shade, Luke and JFC.


















JFC and Joseph. Also Jedediah and someone else but I don't know why Jedediah is doing whatever he is doing.
















It's beloved! Doesn't...her hair...look lovely? I have pictures of her face but I thought I should respect her wishes
















Katie's head is sort of cut off...and that's Jedediah in the suspender. Since when was Katie Lutheran?

Evil Laughter #1

Ye have much to fear evil-doers! or...people in general!

I recieved a CD with pictures from Christ the King today in the mail. Beware!

I will be nice, of course. There are a couple really nice pictures that it would be a shame not to post...but mostly you will be left in peace.

But I would really appreciate it if some people would quake in their boots...or suspenders, as suspenders appear to be quite fashionable down there...Alright, I saw two people wearing them but still.

I always knew I would find the perfect man

I just never thought he would be the Brawny man. Check it out.

The Scottish Play

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight,
Or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat oppressed brain? I see thee yet
In form as palpable as this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th'other senses
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood
Which was not so before. There's no such thing
It is the bloody business which informs
thus to mine eyes. From Macbeth Act II, scene i

I cannot promise that this is accurate word for word or line for line. This is from my memory as I was to memorize a speech from the dark and dismal play. I still have more lines to memorize but that is all the speech directly related to the dagger Macbeth thinks he sees. This is a fun speech to speak, as it may be delivered wildly and with lots of hand movements. I intend to memorize the other speech (If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly), too! Also the St. Crispian's speech from Henry V; Shakespeare is very inspiring. Of course I also have a little Shakespeare memorized for the play I am acting in this summer but as the Dauphin says I need only "do a very little little and all is done". I haven't got many lines.

I'm madly in love...

What's not to love? Dorothy is just the cutest little creature ever.

Henty must die!

Wait...He's already dead. That's comforting. I suppose I shouldn't get so worked up over just a book, but Winning His Spurs is really boring. Yes, it almost has me in tears. It is sooo a guy book. Cuthbert is like...a male Elsie Dinsmore. Ich, yeck, bleh. This is actually something I would post on my Xanga. But Xanga is temporarily down, and I need to whine now! Yes, I'm suffering deeply. I read 12 chapters of that book yesterday! Ooh. The pain! The pain!

Once more at home

By God's grace, I was able to visit some friends at Christ the King church in Springfield, MO this weekend. Seeing Autumn again was absolutely delightful. Girls from 3 to 6 are my specialty, and can be very good for one's ego (depending on how you define "good"), she told me I was very pretty. I'm gratified. Nice to see the other Johnstons, too. Lorisha is such fun to talk too!

Nice to meet others, too. Especially the ones I had "met" already.

Goodbyes are awful for me. I hate leaving. Driving away I was listening to Strong Hand of Love, a wonderful song by Mark Heard that makes me cry even when I'm not upset about leaving people I love (without even ever dancing!).


Down peppers the rain from a clear blue sky
Down trickles a tear on a youthful face
Feeling in haste and wondering why
Up struggles the sun from a wounded night
Out venture our hearts in their silent shrouds
Trying to ignite but wondering how

We can laugh and we can cry
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows
We can dance and we can sigh
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows

Young dreamers explode like popped balloons
Some kind of emotional rodeo
Learning too slow and acting too soon
Time marches away like a lost platoon
We gracefully age as we feel the weight of loving too late
And leaving too soon

We can laugh and we can cry
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows
We can dance and we can sigh
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows

I'm a WHAT?

How frightening. Apparently I'm a minion throng. I've never been one of those before. I always thought it took more than one person to be a throng. But a reliable source told me otherwise. Or at least they have insinuated that I was someone's minion throng.

Does this mean I get group rates and museums and stuff?

Sacrifice

My sister's favorite sport is military style marching band. After seeing this you may understand. I'm trying to resign myself to a fate I have brought upon myself. I don't mean to sound like a martyr, but it's one tough descision to make to keep oneself from participating in something that has intrigued you for a while, and you have watched from the sidelines for several years. I'm learning to appreciate the joys of others. This is my siblings' sport. I have other things to do with my life. But you can be sure, that for the next couple of years I will be cheering for the Marching Dutch with all my might.

Bittersweet. Yeah. I'm making faces. This is tough to think about. I think I will have a couple sobbing fits this summer while I berate myself for not staying in band. But it's for the best, I think.

So what should my favorite sport be? Is contra-dancing a sport?

How far is heaven?

I generally object to people saying such and such a thing as "heaven on earth," but I have found something that I would describe as "a little slice of heaven." Ah, yes. Dancing.

I haven't been dancing recently. Not really. Not unless you count dancing with my sister (I in the part of a gentleman), as we teach ourselves dances or write them. But maybe that does count, we've been drawn a lot closer since we've discovered dancing.

Christian community is marvelous. What more could one say?

But dancing isn't everything. I know some people who, strange to say, prefer card games to dancing. I also know some people who prefer to just sit and talk (but they are mostly *coughcough*), that's cool, too.

For me, dancing is the fusing of music and movement and something rather mathematical, too. Nevermind, contra dancing specifically is marvelous because it's not "just me and my guy", it's me and my partner and this other couple, or, in the case of the Virginia Reel, me and my partner and this whole roomful of people. You spend your time meeting new people. I always make some comment or greeting. Generally it's the same for every couple, but if they're also talkative I might say something different. Back to music, everyone loves moving in rhythm, right (I'm not actually sure this is true, I'm a musician if a poor one, and love music and rhythm)?

But why dance? One answer is the will is the slave of the body, alright, you may deny on some grounds, we're all free in Christ, right? But admit it; when you're hungry, you eat. Starving yourself to death is one tough pill to swallow. I have this on good faith from my father, a convert to the love of dancing (I have always loved it, I think), that since actually trying it, he has found that it's not as silly as it seems. Not to say it's not silly, if it wasn't it would hardly be an activity that I would love so much. It is actually possible to make yourself have fun. Choose not to believe it, if you will, but I am fairly certain. So why not make yourself have fun? Good, clean, old-fashioned-type fun (not to say that that which is old is automatically good, but this is time-tested enjoyment).

Morning Walk

On clouds, rain, sunshine, and resurrection.

Golden hues from wealthy clouds
Are lodged up in the sky.
Gentle rumbles threaten rain
As I go walking by.

The sun is shining up above
There's a smile on my face
I'm as happy as a lark
The world is filled with grace.

I look up, upon the clouds
A sweet celestial view
Then I chuckle at the use
Of childish pinks and blues

God Almighty, God the King
Does not scorn to show His light
In means to us seem foolishness
He makes display of might.

His love has caused this turn-about
This foolish death and life
Ultimately it is this joke
That is the end of strife.

Wow. I've never had the pre-destination argument in person. I've only ever argued it online. Until now. Dr. Kleven is a bit too clever for me, but Robert was going for the Open Theism argument. That one's *old*. Fortunately, I had good Reformed friends to help me argue my case.

We may have gotten off the topic, which was, orginally, Mere Christianity, but it was a good experience and it's delightful to see some young apologists honing their skills, as I try to do.

C.S. Lewis was marvelous. If he was RC they would have sainted him by now, or started to. (er..is that 'canonized'? I'm pretty sure the RCs don't use 'sainted')

We ate cookies, too. And I know who the smartest people in that class are: Chris and Josh; they know when to quit talking, and don't have to join every little argument, when we start going off on bunny trails.

Blogging: A venial sin?

People always talk about the internet as being sort of "anti-social" and "childish" and "uncommunicative". This makes no sense to me, several of my fairly good friends, and Christian encouragers were met at the Classical Christian online school that I took Latin from (for a brief time, and hope to take more again). For a while, they were pretty much my only friends, as at that point I had no one to associate with at church, was homeschooled (still am, but being at the public school three days a week for band allows you to meet some people), and even in the homeschool group, there weren't very many people I shared any interests with, etc.

I particularly like blogging, which is looked on by some as being almost down-right wicked, and certainly selfish. I suppose it is self-centered of me to post my thoughts on the World-Wide-Web, and expect them to be read and commented on, but in general I expect nothing of the kind. I'm humble as they come (eh, what?).

Blogging allows one to organize one's thoughts, to record the events of the day, and to instruct oneself, by reading what you wrote (seriously, sometimes, it's like my subconscious takes over, and I don't know what I'm writing 'til I'm done). Some would say that a private journal would serve just as well, and be less assuming, but a personal journal does not allow you to keep up with you less-than-personal friends (the sort of people whose lives interest you, and you love to interact with, but who you do not know particularly closely), and to practice your prose. I would say that my writing, grammar, and spelling have improved greatly since I began blogging on my xanga. Which, by the way, brings me to the point of why I have this blog. The fact is, I cannot remain serious on my xanga, and besides that, each post on my xanga is a work of art, a carefully crafted one, designed to make people laugh or smile or whatever. A blog where fewer (not less) people read could be an excellent thing, as I may feel less pressure to keep the jokes coming. Not, of course, that that is a facade. Quite the reverse! However, I do enjoy being serious once and a while, but I worry that no one can take you seriously if you make it your serious buisness to make people laugh. Anyway, blogging is a method of communication that can be both effective and enjoyable.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog

Back home from an adventure in Carbondale. What fun we had!

A poem I wrote a few weeks ago, about the Song of Roland, and the battle cry of Charlemagne's men.

"Mountjoy!" they cry, and away they ride,
Heedless of death or turning tide.

"Mountjoy!" they say, and away they go
Off to die at the hand of the foe.

"Mountjoy!" they shout, "For Charlemagne!
For God and country!" they heed no pain.

"Mountjoy!" cries Roland, though death is near,
"For Christ!" he says; he has no fear.

"Mountjoy!" each whispers as he goes to his Lord
All are ready to meet the sword.

"Mountjoy!" shouts Roland, but once more;
As he dies, his soul doth soar.

"Mountjoy!" each says as he met his death
They have fled from fallen earth.

"Mountjoy" echo the hills in mournful tones
At the death of these e'en nature groans.

"Mountjoy!" 'tis true, they will shout no more
All have passed through heaven's door.

The fellowship of the Lord's people is truly marvelous.

We ate a meal at church sort of a potluck style today, how delightful...I love eating with my family. Eating with people is a special way of sharing fellowship. It comes in at the Lord's Supper, too. In some way or other we are eating with the saints in heaven and our Lord, too. We're definitely aren't just saying, "here's to Jesus!" or, "I remember Jesus." We eat the meal served, I suppose I should say, by Christ. It's like a big Christmas dinner, I eat with my real family, my brothers and sisters in Christ. That may not be particularly new or profound, but it's true.

Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain?

"Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." -Exodus 20:7

I saw a billboard while driving through/past Des Moines or Ankeny (they're all the same in my mind), which read "If you're going to swear, use your own name -God" Or something to the effect. I'm sure that whoever put up that builboard meant well, but it would appear to be in itself a violation of the 3rd commandment. (it is actually the third, right? God, idol, name, day, honor, murder, adultery, steal, lie, covet...yep) So hmm. I wish I knew what "in vain" meant exactly, or a little more specifically anyway. It was definitely using God's name in a frivolous and therefore unseemly manner.

Comfort in God's Knowledge

Psalm 139

1O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
5Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
14I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
15My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
18If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
19Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
20For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
21Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
22I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

When people talk about God's knowledge they often mean the way He knows everything that will happen, and understands everything. What I find most amazing about God's knowledge is not the extent of it (though I am always in awe of that), but the depth or the intimacy of it. "Thou understandeth my thought afar off." Wow. Can that be said about anyone? Can you even say that about your own thoughts?

But perhaps we should be frightened. After all, this is the Most High we are talking about. Frightened doesn't begin to describe it, terrified, petrified. The Holy one knows us and we are not holy. Fortunately God is looking at me through the "lens" of Christ. When I read this psalm I am frightened at first, but I lift up my Ebenezer, Jesus Christ and say "God! Remember me!" And he does, because Christ is the new Moses, interceding for us to His Father.

"14Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
15For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
16Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." -Hebrews 4:14-16

And therein is my surety. Were I to stop with the knowledge of God I would be right to be terrified. But Christ was "in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin." So He knows our temptation and has ransomed me with His submission to the Father.

But I'm not done, oh no. Roman Catholics believe (or used to anyway) that for a sin to be forgiven it must be confessed. People (like Martin Luther) lived in terror of forgetting some sin and not confessing it. But my joy and hope is that I am known so completely by God and washed so completely by the blood of His Son, that it is merely necessary (merely, ha!) to be penitent and ask him to wash me. How could we ever hope by our own ability to escape the knowledge of God? But His knowledge should not be a curse and a terror to Christians, but a blessing and a joy. To have no secrets is truly marvelous to the redeemed and remade man, it is only fallen, rebellious man who should fear the knowledge of the Almighty.

Secrets make young people old and can destroy relationships. But imagine having another human know your innermost thoughts, you would be lonely, for who but Love Himself could love the miserable wretched creatures we are when fully disclosed. But He knows us and loves us, what grace!

A humongous, thoughtful post vanishes into oblivion. Ashes to ashes.

Spikenard and chocolate or All to Jesus I surrender

"3And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head.
4And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made?
5For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her.
6And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work on me.
7For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always.
8She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.
9Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her." Mark 14:3-9

It would appear that I copy my sister. But the pastor did preach about this on Sunday. People look at me funny when I say that I gave up chocolate for Lent. After all, what good would it do? But this woman poured spikenard on Jesus' head, which practically speaking, was folly. Whatever seems precious or valuable has no value until we break it and give it unto Jesus. He makes it whole and better than before. "For lo, He makes all things new" (that is probably way out of context, it's just what came to mind.

Anyway, this Easter, chocolate will taste so much sweeter than ever before.

I wonder...

Will anyone ever read this? I might be glad if they don't, after all I am planning on being serious when I use this blog so...I wouldn't want anyone to see that side of me would I?

The ball (officially, the Winter Wonderland Ball) is just about all I can think of so...on dancing:

My dad is found of speaking of dancing as in, for instance, contra-dancing, as being a Trinitarian activity and so it is. In fact, it is a wonderful example of it. Trinitarianism mainly concerns the one and the many. Dancing is about both the individual (and the couple) and the group as a whole. The Trinity is fellowship as is dancing. To dance in such a way is to be more than an individual, it is to become a part of a whole.

Man created in the image of God was created for fellowship. God loves fellowship; the Father is in fellowship with the Son, the Son with the Spirit, etc. To dance is to fellowship and to fellowship is what we were created for. Now if I could only learn how to dance....

The modern man (as witnessed in the philosophy 'I think therefore I am') measure everything by the self. The only reliable source of knowledge is yourself, your very being is determined by your own ability to percieve it. It must be incredibly lonely to be 'Enlightened'. When you dance in a group what you are doing is recoginizing the 'I'-ness of the person across from you, or holding hands with you. Maybe dancing isn't so pointless after all.

This is my third or fourth blogspot blog. I always forget my sign in name.

As to the serpent crusher thing, don't think me unfeminine, but...Yeah, like Jael. But I don't smash no one's heads in (double negative! Yay!), at least not physically. But I'm a serpent crusher, or trying to be. Whenever I turn away from the temptation to sin, I am crushing the serpent, Satan. The fact remains that I'm terrible at it, but God will aid me. (thank goodness, by myself I'm nothing or worse than nothing)

Frankly, I'm bored and tired and so I got me another blog. Hopefully I won't forget about this one. I may post, I may not.