Solid Joys

My favorite hymn is Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken, at least I think so. I want it sung at my funeral, along with For All the Saints. I have always loved the last lines of the last verse: Fading is the worlding's pleasure/All his boasted pomp and show/Solid joys and lasting treasure/None but Zion's children know. I like that idea, the idea of our joys being solid.

Dictionary.com defines solid as:

"adjective
1. having three dimensions (length, breadth, and thickness), as a geometrical body or figure.
2. of or pertaining to bodies or figures of three dimensions.
3. having the interior completely filled up, free from cavities, or not hollow: a solid piece of chocolate.
4. without openings or breaks: a solid wall.
5. firm, hard, or compact in substance: solid ground.
6. having relative firmness, coherence of particles, or persistence of form, as matter that is not liquid or gaseous: solid particles suspended in a liquid.
7. pertaining to such matter: Water in a solid state is ice.
8. dense, thick, or heavy in nature or appearance: solid masses of cloud.
9. not flimsy, slight, or light, as buildings, furniture, fabrics, or food; substantial.
10. of a substantial character; not superficial, trifling, or frivolous: a solid work of scientific scholarship.
11. without separation or division; continuous: a solid row of buildings.
12. whole or entire: one solid hour.
13. forming the whole; consisting entirely of one substance or material: solid gold.
14. uniform in tone or shades, as a color: a solid blue dress.
15. real or genuine: solid comfort.
16. sound or reliable, as reasons or arguments: solid facts.
17. sober-minded; fully reliable or sensible: a solid citizen. "

Almost all of those definitions relate to what the word solid means in that song. I really love that idea.

Sounds like a great dance!

Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do.
--Dogbert calling a square dance

For Gabriel, Alethea, and Noah

I visited one of my brothers' blogs and saw a post he made the day we held a memorial service for our little siblings that we have never met. It still makes me cry when I think about it. I'm just glad to know that they are covenant children and are with their Savior. I want to join them soon, but I guess God has a reason for keeping me here, even though I want to be there.

Providence can be hard, and I know we wouldn't have Dora if they had lived, but...I wish I could have seen them...any of them, held them...known them. I'm not sad because they didn't get a chance to live, no. They are with Jesus, what could be better? I just wish I could be with them or...anything.

Martin Luther liked to call Erasmus and pals "sleepy-headed."

Take THAT, papists!

School again

I always am glad to think I'm starting school again! Every summer I long for school. Every year I swear to be more studious (this rarely works out, but it's a good goal). Once again, I'm getting ready for school. Yay! The bad bit is...my parents aren't *quite* sure about curriculum yet. Never mind I may have to take history with Han again. I hate taking classes with my siblings. The only people that should have to worry about this are twins. Freshmen should not have to take classes with their sisters who are Juniors. Argh. Of course, this is God's providence. I shouldn't fight. But only homeschooling...*fist clench*

Don't get me wrong, I like homeschooling. But my favorite bit is the indepence of it. When I am behaving in a self-disciplined manner (about a fourth of the time) I don't want adults and older siblings ruining my precarious balance by adding a load of unnecessary suggestions, work, and rules (by this I mean the sort of extra ideas that learning must be done "exactly so" or "just this way" and other things that hurt my poor, stupid little head). I have grown up teaching myself, changing is so hard (this being one of the reasons I'm not sure I'll want to go to college. Bleh. The only reason I can see for going to college is getting a husband. Smart, I'm sure, but, really.

Well, I might have talked my parents into letting me take classes at the gummint school, but I don't like gummint schools. Public schools are full of clueless person who think I'm peculiar (I am of God's peculiar people...but they don't get it). I don't mind being thought weird, last year I relished it. However, once in a while I want people to understand what informs my frame of mind. I'm not stuck on boys or money or having fun (well, once in a while I get distracted...but I'm working on this). My life isn't these fading pleasures, I want solid joys. Sure, I love this world, God made it. But nobody gets it. I look at everything through the eyes my dad made for me by constantly reading Scripture, and talking about theology until my head was full of it. Anyway, public schools are filled with bad influences, distractions, and just...dumb people.

But I can't wait to throw myself back at Algebra and give it one more shot (I started it half-way through last year and am about half-way through). I'm hopeful.

The Will of God

Ok. First, I pray that this post, these words would somehow bring glory to God. All that is good in them is surely Him working in me, and not my own ability, all evil surely comes from my depravity and folly, and also with less blame, my finiteness as I do not know all that is, some things are hidden from us.

The points of the so called "free will" discussion appear to be as follows:

• The total depravity of man. Is it or isn't it?
• God's fore-knowledge? Is it in conflict with His justice? His power?
• Reward and Punishment
• Fatalism; Does the bondage of the will eliminate responsibility for sin?

The Total Depravity of man

"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others." (Ephesians 2:1-3)

Ecclesiastes 7:20 " For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin."

Romans 5:12-14 "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come."

St. Augustine (of Hippo, heh-heh) said :"Man's original capacities included both the power not to sin and the power to sin ( posse non peccare et posse peccare ). In Adam's original sin, man lost the posse non peccare (the power not to sin) and retained the posse peccare (the power to sin)--which he continues to exercise. In the fulfillment of grace, man will have the posse peccare taken away and receive the highest of all, the power not to be able to sin, non posse peccare ." (On Correction and Grace XXXIII.) I've never read this in original context, I found this on a website. I realize of course, that St. Augustine is not on par with Scripture, but the Romans ought to recognize him as fairly authoritative.

If it were possible for man without Christ not to sin, I'm surprised at the very small evidence of genuinely good non-Christians. Yes, I know genuinely kind pagans, genuinely loving pagans, genuinely loving pagans, but I really know no genuinely good pagans.

Supposing man was really, deep down inside, good, then I think the world would be prevalently good with a few mistakes and goofs here and there. But the utter confusion of the world without God is so complete, that while in every culture a particular virtue is thought important, there are generally several prevalent vices, that completly "cancel out" any virtue. Man is not just confused, he is dead in sin.

God's Foreknowledge

Does God know the future?

I will not cite passages at this moment, but cast your mind around, and think back to the many prophecies in Scripture that have been fulfilled so exactly as to leave no doubt that God perfectly knows the future.

Some will argue, I suppose, that He knows the future because since He is not bound by space and time He is present in it. Suppose that is the case (and so it would seem to be), then it might not be necessary that He controls every detail.

But this leaves God in an awkward state, past, present, or future, it would seem as though He must view it rather as we do, but with the disadvantage that His acting would interfere with the free-will of humans, His "hands-off" area.

If God does not foresee the future, then His knowledge is incomplete and imperfect. If His knowledge is incomplete, is not, then, His power limited? His power limited, we cannot confess "God the Father Almighty" as we have for hundreds (almost thousands) of years.

Reward and Punishment

Understand first of all, that we are condemned by nature. Nothing we can do will save us, for our nature is evil. God does not take neutral man and make half of them "good" and half "bad". He takes some sinners and redeems them, and some He destroys.

A)Punishment

"What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden."(Romans 9:14-18)

He hardens some. He fixes them in their sin, which directly or indirectly He willed through Adam's sin. Adam would not have sinned had God wished Him not to, for God knows all things and if Adam's sin would not bring glory to Him, He would not have created Adam. How could He?

One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he called.

B) Reward

Christians are promised a "reward." This is Scriptural language, so let me not be said to quarrel with it, but what is the reward for? I have been told by some that this is a reward for following God, but would you reward a corpse for keeping up with the hearse it was riding in?

Surely, we have been made alive in Christ, but this must mean we no longer live in ourselves, we live in Christ. The life we have can hardly be our own, and we will not be rewarded for following. We will be rewarded for the righteousness of Christ: His works on earth, His death and resurrection, and His good works through us. As the sin of our first head, Adam, is imputed to us, despite the fact that we did not actually participate, so the righteousness of our new head, Christ Jesus, is imputed to us, through no act of our own. We did not will our sin and so do not will our salvation.

Fatalism

I was asked this question recently:

"What if God came and told you that He had predestined you to go to Hell and there was absolutely nothing you could do to redeem yourself? How would you feel, what would you do?"

The obvious flaw in this is: has God ever done that? Is there any reason that He would? Why ever would He say that?

But ignoring that, this shows a very flawed understanding of the doctrine of predestination.

Predestination is not fate. Fate is impersonal, God's will is supremely personal. Everything we do is directly tied in to the end. It is not as though nothing we do matters, every detail is part of the extreme detail of God's plan. It seems that some think we believe that only the "big stuff" matters. When, in Romans 8, Paul speaks of all things working together, he means all things and does not exclude any details of anything. It is not a matter of "all the big stuff" but rather all the everyday stuff as well.

If God has predestined us to go to Hell, then He has also predestined us to sin. Predestined or not, sin is still, at least in some sense, a choice. We do not respond to some preprogrammed course of action, but rather to things we see, hear, feel, etc. at the moment.

Predestination is not a get out of jail free card. God will not tell you that you are predestined to go one place or do one thing. What purpose would that serve?

We don't for what we are predestined, although we can see where someone may be heading. If they bear bad fruit, then their faith is probably dead. If we see ourselves bearing bad fruit, we should be on our knees repenting. Through God's power and only God's power are we brought back, our own sinful hearts will not admit our sin, and certainly not repent of them. I have no problem asserting that a man without Christ cannot possibly choose Christ. The Holy Spirite (and through Him, Christ) must enter into the man before he can so much as see the extent of his sin.

• Fatalism says that no matter what you do, the end will be the same, the one that is fated to be.
• The doctrine of Predestination says that because of what you do, the end is what God willed.

See the difference?

Closing Statements--

There is a complete failure in the so called "free will" arguments to account for sin or salvation. By the arguments I have heard, man is basically good, so most sin cannot be explained, or man is basically evil so how can he do good if he is free to choose?

I have heard few arguments of any sort on behalf of free will. I have heard almost entirely questions skirting around the matter to speak about something not being discussed.

This is by no means perfect, there are so many Scripture passages I forget to quote that I meant to, I haven't quoted from Luther like I meant to and not as much from Augustine as maybe might be useful, but I hope this is clearer than previous posts on my other blog or on the ISLAS forum.

Disclaimer: I make mistakes, I say things I don't mean. I may not have read this through enough times. I'm not brilliant.

For random people reading this: This is a response to Roman Catholics and not Arminian-non-calvinist-type Baptists. I'm not sure if in this case it makes much of a difference, but it might. God bless!

God's plan

When everything seems to be going just right I start to wonder, if maybe everything's going to come so close to happening and then everything will go wrong. What does He mean by this? Whatever happens is for my best, including the good things. Still I wonder, things look too good to be true. What is happening?

God's blessings are great...

• He has begun to show me the qualities of some younger ladies at our church, and how valuable they are as friends
• He has given me a few friendships that allow me to grow in Christ, by discussing Our King, glorying in Him, and advising one another when we are confused
• He has provided beautiful weather lately, that if it continues will be lovely for Han's ball (If it doesn't, praise the Lord! His will is our highest good)
• He has given us wonderful friends who are willing to travel far to visit us. I'm especially glad about the Johnstons. I love those people.
• He has provided us with music and other such necessary things for this ball
• He has given me many friends with an active love for the Word
• He has given me the breath I breathe
• He has given me things I cannot understand or speak of, suffice it to say that His grace is daily revealed to me in more wonderful ways than ever could be described.
• He fills me with the desire to belong to Him, and saves me from my folly and stubborness.

Posting!

Okay, normally I meditate on Scripture so here goes. I have some instructions for y'all:

Read Psalm 19, then read the book of Ephesians. No, I haven't seen any real similarities (besides the obvious), but Psalm 19 is a good read...and helps me appreciate Scripture better.

Okay, with that step done, thank God for bringing you to Him despite the fact that you were dead in trespasses and sins.

The Living and Active Word

"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God."

I said something about the passage in the Bible regarding headcoverings for women and making a joke (pretending to take a very strange position on the passage; and by strange position I do not simply mean "pro-head-covering" I do indeed mean something strange, though I do not now recall what it was I do believe it was related to a paper-hat) and then said that seriously I had a head covering; it was made out of hair. I got a strange look from another girl my age and was told, "Well, that was in the Old Testament." I expressed my surprise that that should make a difference, but insisted that the passage I had referenced was (1 Corinthians 11 was what I had been thinking of), in fact, in the New Testament. Her response was two-fold, "That was a long time ago. Besides, guys back then had long hair." What an intellectual discussion. Back to the point--

Does the meaning of Scripture becomes irrelevant if its meaning is not easily understood by our minds; minds that have not be trained to think in biblical terms?

The word of God is living and powerful. The Word of God is not mere words, but a living and powerful person. The word of God is also Holy Scripture. Scripture is God's statement about Himself. Knowledge of God is ever relevant, ever important. It is not worthwhile to the mind that has not been trained in it and has not been turned towards it, because God is not relevant to such a mind. But if we study Scripture, we see how relevant God is, and if God is relevant, then His word is relevant. He who has ears to hear let him hear.

Psalm 19
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat. "

Creation pours forth silent speech which is heard from East to West.

" The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults."

I think this and the Hebrews passage go hand in hand (as if Scripture passage could not go hand in hand?). The Law of God is perfect and living and powerful for conviction, for comfort, for assurance, for edification etc. "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17) I meant in some way to discuss the word of God and the Word incarnate, but the glory and power of it is so inexpressible.

I end this post with this prayer:


"Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

In much need of prayer

Please pray for me. Pray that my longings and desires would be in accord with God's will for my life. Pray that I would love what God has planned for me. Pray that God will give me patience; that I could trust Him now and not rush on ahead. One can love too much what one cannot have; it is so dangerous! God save us all!

I have been praying the Lord's Prayer every night before I go to sleep. This ensures that I can say something even if I am too tired to say much. Often I kinda choke up on "thy will be done." It's hard on me. I'm sure it's hard on everyone. Our pride does not allow us to think of God's will, and we will want what we cannot have and pride will lead us to covetousness, etc.

Pride is my mortal enemy. But I wasn't really posting about pride. We'll leave pride for another time. My problem now is loneliness and this feeling of loss which ought to be inexplicable considering I have lost nothing of value. But yet I feel that I have lost what I have never had and mean to gain what is not meant for me. I will not explain further. The longing may be excusable, the attitude and habits that go with it are not.

May might heart long after God's will and God's word. May my soul long only for Him. May I not look to the left or right. What can satisfy me but my creator?

Prayer would be so wonderful.

Evil Laughter #2

Pastor Shade, Luke and JFC.


















JFC and Joseph. Also Jedediah and someone else but I don't know why Jedediah is doing whatever he is doing.
















It's beloved! Doesn't...her hair...look lovely? I have pictures of her face but I thought I should respect her wishes
















Katie's head is sort of cut off...and that's Jedediah in the suspender. Since when was Katie Lutheran?

Evil Laughter #1

Ye have much to fear evil-doers! or...people in general!

I recieved a CD with pictures from Christ the King today in the mail. Beware!

I will be nice, of course. There are a couple really nice pictures that it would be a shame not to post...but mostly you will be left in peace.

But I would really appreciate it if some people would quake in their boots...or suspenders, as suspenders appear to be quite fashionable down there...Alright, I saw two people wearing them but still.

I always knew I would find the perfect man

I just never thought he would be the Brawny man. Check it out.

The Scottish Play

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight,
Or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat oppressed brain? I see thee yet
In form as palpable as this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th'other senses
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood
Which was not so before. There's no such thing
It is the bloody business which informs
thus to mine eyes. From Macbeth Act II, scene i

I cannot promise that this is accurate word for word or line for line. This is from my memory as I was to memorize a speech from the dark and dismal play. I still have more lines to memorize but that is all the speech directly related to the dagger Macbeth thinks he sees. This is a fun speech to speak, as it may be delivered wildly and with lots of hand movements. I intend to memorize the other speech (If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly), too! Also the St. Crispian's speech from Henry V; Shakespeare is very inspiring. Of course I also have a little Shakespeare memorized for the play I am acting in this summer but as the Dauphin says I need only "do a very little little and all is done". I haven't got many lines.

I'm madly in love...

What's not to love? Dorothy is just the cutest little creature ever.

Henty must die!

Wait...He's already dead. That's comforting. I suppose I shouldn't get so worked up over just a book, but Winning His Spurs is really boring. Yes, it almost has me in tears. It is sooo a guy book. Cuthbert is like...a male Elsie Dinsmore. Ich, yeck, bleh. This is actually something I would post on my Xanga. But Xanga is temporarily down, and I need to whine now! Yes, I'm suffering deeply. I read 12 chapters of that book yesterday! Ooh. The pain! The pain!

Once more at home

By God's grace, I was able to visit some friends at Christ the King church in Springfield, MO this weekend. Seeing Autumn again was absolutely delightful. Girls from 3 to 6 are my specialty, and can be very good for one's ego (depending on how you define "good"), she told me I was very pretty. I'm gratified. Nice to see the other Johnstons, too. Lorisha is such fun to talk too!

Nice to meet others, too. Especially the ones I had "met" already.

Goodbyes are awful for me. I hate leaving. Driving away I was listening to Strong Hand of Love, a wonderful song by Mark Heard that makes me cry even when I'm not upset about leaving people I love (without even ever dancing!).


Down peppers the rain from a clear blue sky
Down trickles a tear on a youthful face
Feeling in haste and wondering why
Up struggles the sun from a wounded night
Out venture our hearts in their silent shrouds
Trying to ignite but wondering how

We can laugh and we can cry
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows
We can dance and we can sigh
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows

Young dreamers explode like popped balloons
Some kind of emotional rodeo
Learning too slow and acting too soon
Time marches away like a lost platoon
We gracefully age as we feel the weight of loving too late
And leaving too soon

We can laugh and we can cry
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows
We can dance and we can sigh
And never see the strong hand of love
Hidden in the shadows

I'm a WHAT?

How frightening. Apparently I'm a minion throng. I've never been one of those before. I always thought it took more than one person to be a throng. But a reliable source told me otherwise. Or at least they have insinuated that I was someone's minion throng.

Does this mean I get group rates and museums and stuff?

Sacrifice

My sister's favorite sport is military style marching band. After seeing this you may understand. I'm trying to resign myself to a fate I have brought upon myself. I don't mean to sound like a martyr, but it's one tough descision to make to keep oneself from participating in something that has intrigued you for a while, and you have watched from the sidelines for several years. I'm learning to appreciate the joys of others. This is my siblings' sport. I have other things to do with my life. But you can be sure, that for the next couple of years I will be cheering for the Marching Dutch with all my might.

Bittersweet. Yeah. I'm making faces. This is tough to think about. I think I will have a couple sobbing fits this summer while I berate myself for not staying in band. But it's for the best, I think.

So what should my favorite sport be? Is contra-dancing a sport?

How far is heaven?

I generally object to people saying such and such a thing as "heaven on earth," but I have found something that I would describe as "a little slice of heaven." Ah, yes. Dancing.

I haven't been dancing recently. Not really. Not unless you count dancing with my sister (I in the part of a gentleman), as we teach ourselves dances or write them. But maybe that does count, we've been drawn a lot closer since we've discovered dancing.

Christian community is marvelous. What more could one say?

But dancing isn't everything. I know some people who, strange to say, prefer card games to dancing. I also know some people who prefer to just sit and talk (but they are mostly *coughcough*), that's cool, too.

For me, dancing is the fusing of music and movement and something rather mathematical, too. Nevermind, contra dancing specifically is marvelous because it's not "just me and my guy", it's me and my partner and this other couple, or, in the case of the Virginia Reel, me and my partner and this whole roomful of people. You spend your time meeting new people. I always make some comment or greeting. Generally it's the same for every couple, but if they're also talkative I might say something different. Back to music, everyone loves moving in rhythm, right (I'm not actually sure this is true, I'm a musician if a poor one, and love music and rhythm)?

But why dance? One answer is the will is the slave of the body, alright, you may deny on some grounds, we're all free in Christ, right? But admit it; when you're hungry, you eat. Starving yourself to death is one tough pill to swallow. I have this on good faith from my father, a convert to the love of dancing (I have always loved it, I think), that since actually trying it, he has found that it's not as silly as it seems. Not to say it's not silly, if it wasn't it would hardly be an activity that I would love so much. It is actually possible to make yourself have fun. Choose not to believe it, if you will, but I am fairly certain. So why not make yourself have fun? Good, clean, old-fashioned-type fun (not to say that that which is old is automatically good, but this is time-tested enjoyment).